There's only one thing that scares me more than snakes - Airplanes!

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached acomfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom..."Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293,nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and thereforewe should have a smooth and uneventful flight.Now, please sit back, relax and enjoy the - OH MY GOD!" Silence. The captain comes back on the intercom and says..."Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking,the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap.You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach piped up, "That's nothing... You should see the back of mine!"